_____
“Get those reports to the council by tomorrow. It could make or break your case, depending on what you find.”
“I know, and you’ll get them. There’s a lot of data to comb through.”
“That’s why I pulled a few strings to get EDI routed to your data pad. Use it to speed up the process. Cerberus programmed it to save every mission and transmission that the Normandy was a part of.”
“Thank you, Councilor Anderson. This is a huge help. I’ll get to work.”
“I’ve got your back, Shepard. The reason I’m helping you is because I believe you did the right thing. I’m going to find more testimonies for your defense. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Anderson turned and closed the door behind him quickly, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
Got my back, she thought. The right thing? I’ve lost so much because of the decisions I’ve made. I hope it was worth it.
Commander Shepard sat at the small desk that Councilor Anderson had cleared for her. It was a private space, a place where she could concentrate.
“Where to begin. I know the missions I was a part of and was debriefed on that already.” She contemplated what to do next. “EDI.”
“Yes, Commander Shepard.”
“Pull up anything, communications, activity, whatever you can find that I wasn’t directly involved with that I wasn’t debriefed on by my officers. Anything to do with missions or personnel. Upload summaries to my console.”
Immediately, a long list began to populate on the screen. Hundreds, and then thousands of files. Grocery lists, crew discussions about furlough, service requests to fix the men’s bathroom toilet. EDI literally transcribed and recorded every conversation made within the Normandy. The Illusive Man was paranoid. This is going to be harder than she thought. She was getting a headache.
“Okay, we have to make this list shorter. EDI, let’s start with any Alliance communications in relation to missions. There shouldn’t be hardly any of those.”
23 summaries. She was surprised there were that many. Well, it’s a start.
She scanned the summary titles. Most of them were post mission requests to Alliance to apprehend a criminal or check a human colony situation the Normandy didn’t have time to deal with. And confirmation that, like she always told Joker, don’t even let them see our tail lights.
She scrolled down.
“Joker Alenko Post Mission Communication.”
What? Horizon maybe? No, the date is after that. What could have possibly caused this conversation to happen? She hesitated to open the file. Then she shook her head. Who am I kidding? I have to read it.
“EDI, show me the transcript for the Joker Alenko Communication.”
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JOKER: Alliance Command, this is the Normandy requesting assistance on planet REDACTED. Please respond.
ALENKO: Normandy, this is Commander Alenko. What’s your status?
JOKER: Whoa, Kaidan? This message was for Alliance Command.
ALENKO: Requests for assistance are automatically routed to the nearest Alliance vessel. I guess that’s me.
JOKER: That’s new. Don’t you have an ensign or something to take your calls?
ALENKO: I was in my quarters evaluating…a past mission. When I saw the transmission was from the Normandy, I decided to take it myself. Now, what is your status?
JOKER: Whoa, back down general, geez. Don’t worry. Just the standard ‘Shepard helps crew member with personal situation, finds survivors from a crash that happened eight years ago held captive by a lunatic, saves survivors, kicks lunatic’s ass, kept him alive for a proper trial’. We need someone to go pick up the survivors and the criminal for prosecution.
ALENKO: I see. (3.4 second pause) It sounds like old times. Must feel good being on the Normandy again. With Shepard in command.
JOKER: Oh, man, it’s exactly like old times. Well, not exactly. I mean, having you at the helm on my right would be exactly like old times. (chuckles) Do you remember those crazy late night conversations we would have when everyone else was asleep and it was just you and me, steering the Normandy to the next mass relay? If it weren’t for me, you and Shepard never would have been hooked up. I mean, with how much you always went on about her, I thought you were never gonna make a move. I practically had to take you to Shepard’s quarters myself before Iilos. Kaidan, I said, we’re probably all going to die or go to prison, if you tell her how you really feel and she shoots you, you only have a couple more hours to live anyway.
ALENKO: That, and you threatened to get her on the comm and tell her I loved her yourself if I didn’t make a move.
JOKER: (laughs) Oh yeah! That was a good one. I would have done it, too. Glad you took my advice. You two made one hell of a team. You made each other great.
ALENKO: (3 second pause) How is Shepard doing? Mission-wise, I mean.
JOKER: Give me a break, Alenko. You haven’t changed. You can let loose. It’s just you and me up here. Just like on the first Normandy. And man, have I missed having someone to talk to. You wanted a Shepard update, right. I want you to know that she hasn’t changed either. She’s the same commander, the same woman. With the same mad skills and crazy gallop around the bridge when she’s in a bad mood. (3 second pause) There’s something else. She’d kill me, slowly, if she knew I was telling you this, but. (2 second pause) Nevermind, it’s not worth it.
ALENKO: Seriously, Joker? That line? What is it? Like you said, it’s just you and me.
JOKER: This better not come back to bite me. (2 second pause) After Horizon, I heard Shepard talking to our on board councilor about seeing you again. I mean, right on the bridge. She seems to forget there are comms everywhere and I hear everything. Remember that time on the Normandy when she asked if I was spying on you guys? I totally was.
ALENKO: Joker, you’re killing me here.
JOKER: Right, sorry. Anyway, I’m telling you this because I think you deserve to know. Because, well, you’re still my crewmate, even though we aren’t on the same ship anymore. I know if I were you, I’d want to know. I mean, the tension between you two is crazy high, and you’re not even here!
ALENKO: Joker! I’m closing this communication unless you get to the point. Tell me!
JOKER: Okay, already. When did you get so uptight? She basically told the councilor that she still has feelings for you and thinks you’re an incredible man and she wishes you would have had more time together on Horizon. Every since she saw you, she’s been different. More distracted. Oh, and she has a picture of you in her quarters, right by her personal terminal. Janitor told me. There. (6.4 second pause) Alenko, you there, man? Say something.
ALENKO: I don’t know what to say.
JOKER: I’m giving you a look right now. You can’t see it, but it’s that same look I’d give you whenever you needed a smack upside the head. Alenko, she still loves you. You’re her fuel, man. You keep her going. She’s holding out for you. You should see how many dudes on this ship go after her. But she turns ‘em all down, says to keep it professional, you know? And when she said what she did to the councilor on the bridge in front of God and everyone, she made it clear she was holding out for you. (2.3 second pause) Now, say something.
ALENKO: What do you want me to say, Joker? This is insane. Two years of my life without her, two years of grief, of trying to get past her. I loved her so completely, and not being able to say goodbye, seeing her picture on the Citidel, all of those stupid ads to recruit new Allance officers. Then, out of the blue, I hear she’s alive. I couldn’t bear the thought of her actually surviving and not contacting me. Two years! I did intel, figured out how to set up a rendezvous. Horizon was a target, and if my intel was right, she was with Cerberus and tracking leads on human colonies. I put myself on a defense mission, some bull cover for my real purpose for being there. Every night, I would lay in my quarters, going through exactly what I would say if I saw her. I rehearsed it so much I dreamt it. I’d tell her that I missed her, that I wanted to know exactly what happened, for her to explain why the hell she’s with Cerberus, to get a good answer for not contacting me. Ask her if she still cared about me at all. Ask her if she even knew she was the real Shepard and not some clone. But when I actually saw her, it all unraveled. I blew up. My emotions were running so high, my biotics were tingling. And what did she have to say to me? I was so angry by her answers to my questions. It's not how it was supposed to be. And now you're telling me it is the real Shepard, and she hasn't changed. It would be easier if she were a clone controlled by Cerberus. At least then it would make sense! At least I could let it go. After saying what I said to her on Horizon, all I could do was walk away. I wish I could go back and do it all over. But I can’t. If I let my guard down again, if I let all of those memories and feelings grip me now and I lose her again, I swear I’d go insane. I can’t risk it. It was hell when she died, I can’t go through it all again. Besides, I spent two years without her. Now she can know what it feels like to be without someone she cares about.
JOKER: Wow, Alenko. Really? Now it’s Shepard’s turn to go through hell, wondering if you’d ever love her again? She was clinically dead, Alenko. What was she supposed to do, come back to you as a ghost and tell you she’d be right back in a few? I was wrong. You have changed. You’re a sorry reason for her motivation if that’s how you feel. Get over here and clean up this mess on planet REDACTED. I’m done.
ALENKO: Wait, Joker, wait. (sighs) You wanted me to say something and I did. You’re the only person I’ve ever said that to. You wanted the truth of how I felt, that’s it. I know it's really Shepard and not a clone. I've seen the evidence. I'll be honest, I was wondering if she still had feelings for me. My feelings for her haven’t changed. I still love her, even though I wish I could let it go. I try to convince myself that she doesn’t matter to me anymore so if she dies, it won’t rip me apart. But it’s not true. Joker, I’m holding out for her, too. (4.2 second pause) Is this conversation being recorded?
JOKER: I don’t think so. This is a secure channel. What is it? Alenko, if you know something that could help us.
ALENKO: My current mission is to trail you. That’s why I’m the closest Alliance vessel. They figured I knew the Normandy, you, and Shepard well enough to anticipate your moves and recognize where you’d been, where you’d go next. Seeing how she's handled every situation, how she's helped so many people the way she always has, I knew she was the same woman I fell in love with. Even though this is an Alliance mission, I want you to know that I’m on Shepard’s side. Not Cerberus, not even really the Alliance. Shepard’s. My purpose for this mission? Make sure she survives. And my motives aren’t because of my orders. They’re for me.
JOKER: Holy crap. Okay now I really hope I’m right when I said this wasn’t a recorded conversation. Cerberus and the Alliance would have your ass if they knew you just told me that. (short pause) That was bullcrap about assistance communications getting routed to the nearest Alliance vessel, wasn’t it. You blew your cover on purpose.
ALENKO: I haven’t changed, Joker. I know where my true loyalties lie, and that’s with old friends. Keep this between us. Having this get out could have us all court marshaled, or worse.
JOKER: You know it man, my lips are sealed on this one. (chuckles) Glad to have you back, Alenko, sort of.
ALENKO: I’ve got your back, Normandy.
JOKER: Joker out.
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